VLOG #2: HEY, I like you!

In our second vlog we talk about "letting him know you like him" & flirting techniques. the conclusion is: we don't know.

Thanks to our favorite follower: Elisabeth Gee!

Dead Butterflies

I've been thinking about love a lot lately (and by "lately" I mean every conscious moment since I was... I don't know... six years old).  

The other day I asked my mom and a couple of my friends if they have ever wondered if the life they are living was part of the plan or if what is happening is the course correction (or worse! the new reality) of a wrong turn.  One friend told me she'd rather not think about that and my mom told me I just think too much.

Sometimes I worry I guess. I've had a fair few romantic disappointments in my life.  A fair few of that fair few have been consequences of my own mishaps and blundering ways. I've had that dead butterfly feeling for awhile now and it's been unsettling. 

Then, I got to thinking, and that thinking led to a conclusion: new butterflies are always born and God always gives more chances than we recognize. 

My sweet, lovely ladies, loneliness is a temporary state of being.  It'll all pass and we will all have our happily ever afters, even if they come later than we anticipate. If I've learned one thing so far in my 25 years of life it is that things will work out, so we can either whine and complain and hinder change or we can get up and act like everything is on purpose and that it'll all add up to a beautiful picture in the end.

Hold tight and smile, life goes on only until it doesn't.  This is your ONE LIFE TO LIVE! So live it.  If love is taking too long, do something else! 

VLOG #1: Physical Attraction & "The Spark"

In our debut VLOG we talk about physical attraction & the mysterious "spark". We're a little random & scatter-brained due to recording at midnight. Forgive us. 

We're Starting a Vlog!

We are starting a video-blog, or VLOG, here at RHJNITY! Send us your questions & we'll answer them in video form. Leave a comment here & hit us up on Twitter! We'll start posting videos regularly!

xoxo, B & N

The L-Bomb

Hello, ladies [& gents]!

I oft find myself deep in thought whilst driving home from work at 1am. Or lying on my bed listening to Lil' Johnny Mayer [I don't even care, I LOVE him], also deep in thought. During both these times my mind drifts to love & relationships. I can't help myself. Like I said, I'm a dire hopeless romantic & always will be.

A few nights ago I was revisiting the first time I told a guy I loved him. I was 21 & he said "thank you". THANK YOU?! At the time I was annoyed but continued on in the relationship & eventually he said it back... when he was ready & actually meant it. And by that time we could laugh about his response the first time I'd said it.

Let me tell you another story. The first time a guy said "I love you" to me I was 16. We'd only been dating a month & I just wasn't there yet. We were watching TV at a friends house when he kissed me & dropped the L-bomb. I was [am] awkward so I just pretending like I didn't hear it. He continued to say it: in person, on the phone, in email. He got weird when I never said it back. I started saying it back only because I felt pressured. But I did not love him. Eventually the guilt got the best of me & I broke up with him.

Lil' Johnny Mayer

This got me thinking about when the "right" time is to drop the heavy L-bomb. Ladies, gents: there is not such thing as the right time. The right time is when it's true. The right time is often. The right time is all the time. Nicole & I have talked about this subject a lot. Sometimes in relationships one person comes to the L-bomb faster than the other. Let's face it, what are the odds that two people would fall in love with each other at the exactly the same time? The key is saying it when you feel it & being patient with the other person, letting them get there in there own sweet time. They might just kiss you & say "thank you". That's okay! You wouldn't want them to lie to you right??

The lesson here is: don't expect your dating partner to always be at the same place, or page, as you. Especially in the beginning. Finding the flow takes times. Falling in love takes time. Be patient. Isn't it worth it? Don't freak if they simply just thank you. Let them meet you when they're ready.

xoxo, B.

Brittany's Thoughts on Dating: One Sweet Love & Multiple Second Chances

Sometimes we don't realize when someone special comes into our life. Sometimes we realize it but don't want to accept it for fear of the possibilities or lack thereof.

As humans most of us are not built to be alone. Most of us crave other humans to share with. And for the majority of us that means romantic relationships. Why is it that 99% of songs, movies, poems, books, plays, etc. are written about love & romantic entanglements? It's because romance, love, & relationships are built into our DNA. We are built for monogamy & love. We can try to reject it all we want, try to be tough & live on our own, shut out possibilities for fear of pain, but that just leads to unhappiness & strain between our head & our heart.

I've been thinking a lot about love. I've got a few friends that I bounce my thoughts & feeling off of. And here's where we've landed: WE ALL WANT LOVE. But only a few are truly willing to do what it takes. Only a few actually realize when that person walks into our lives. Only a few of those will do the WORK to make that person a permanent part of our lives.

Tonight a friend said to me, "I fear I missed my chance because I wanted something 'better'." This made me think of the song "One Sweet Love" by Miss Sara Bareilles. In this song Sara speaks of a love lost & wonder if she missed her chance & has already tasted her "one sweet love". I can't help but ache in my heart when I hear this song. I know I've felt like maybe I had my one great love in life & it's all downhill from here. I've felt like I had "the guy" & lost him & I'll never really get over him & really move on to someone I'll love second best. I don't know the answer to this. I'd like to believe that we all have multiple second chances when it comes to love. I hope so, at least for myself. Heaven knows I need more than once chance for one sweet love.

In the end, do not let fear chase you away from love & relationships. For heaven's sake! We are not made to be alone. We are made to walk the road of life is someone, even if it's just for a little while. If someone walks into your life, for the LOVE OF PETE, LET THEM IN.



May we all have multiple second chances for one sweet love.

xoxo, B.

Good Things Don't End

he's one smart, adorable, little Buddhist man.

Yesterday someone said to me "all good things must end" & while we weren't talking about relationships, it got me thinking.

Good things don't HAVE to end. If something's truly, REALLY, good [like a healthy relationship], it doesn't end unless we silly humans mess it up.

Nicole & I were talking about this thought late last night. A "good" relationship is the kind is which the two of you understand each other, feel safe with each other emotionally & physically, & give each room to grow while being in love. When something like this, a special person, comes into your life, TREAT IT DIFFERENTLY. We've all got baggage & tend to think that one bad apple spoils the whole bunch (see my post on this subject), sometimes we don't recognize when this person comes into our life. Or we recognize it & it terrifies us & we become frozen in fear.

What I'm saying here is this: good things DON'T end. We make it work. Treat it different & it'll last forever. Don't freeze yourself into ruining something good.

I'll say it again: GOOD THINGS DON'T END.

The Bachelorette: Season 8: Episode 1: "I KNOW HIM!"

In the spirit of full disclosure, I went to HS with one of the Bachelors this season, who apparently goes pretty far. He actually tried to date a couple of my friends & from what I know of him he's sweet, funny, & just a genuine nice guy. Let's see how it goes.

• Em looks much better this time around. Less Barbie, more pretty.
• Freak, she's 26. I'm 26. She seems much older than me, no?
• Her 7 year old goes to bed at 7:30?!
• Oh, Bradley. Bradley....
• Em, expectation is the root of all heartbreak.
• Oh hey, Chris Harrison. Ya know, he's single now?!
• Love that they're not in LA this time, smart move--literally.
• OMG, this helicopter guy is a piece of work.
• Awwwww, a single dad. Likey.
• Singer/Songwriter guy needs to just stop. I cannot handle it. "Emily! EMILY! EMILLLLLYY!"
• JEF!!!! THERE HE IS!!!! Longboarding down Provo Canyon. I KNOW HIM!!! Yes, his name only had one F. Blame his parents, but it totally fits him.
• Race car driver, really ABC? That's just rude.
• "A mini-van full of babies" I feel ya, Em.
• She annoyingly adorable.
• Really, the line from "Hitch" Mr. Fitness Model? Wah, wah, wah....
• These one-liners are killing me. 
• Jef, you WOULD longboard in! It's super weird knowing someone on this show. Like both my world's are colliding.
• STOP!!! JUST. STOP. This dancing guy is ridic.
• What the what?! What is happening?! I feel uncomfy for Ems. Don't dress up like a Gma. It's weird.
• Some guys shouldn't have long hair. 
• This helicopter guy has got to go!! I cannot stand him already.
• "Goll-y!" 
• Oh, Jef.
• Ew, Kalon is a d-bag.
• Race car driver has Alfafa hair.
• Single dad gets the rose!!
• So much schmucks in one place.
• Truth: I get uber bored during the rose ceremony.
• Bored. Don't care.
• Oh, relax guys. It's one girl. Not the end of the world.
• Lots of crying coming up!!!
• Why is he stripping??!?!??!?!?! STOOOOOOOOOP!!

Team Jef FTW!

Wise Words: Liz Lemon

The Curse of Self Sabotage

ME. [via pinterest]

I'm a classic worry-wort. Someone once told me I catastrophize everything. Which is incredibly true. I mean, one of my biggest fears is being in a space shuttle & being sucked out into space & floating away to my death. Seriously. My palms are getting sweaty just thinking about it.

This is a problem that I've tried to keep out of my dating life. It's incredibly hard not to think about the future, especially when it comes to dating. When a relationship is new there's a lot at stake. There's, like, 700 ways it can go. Maybe it's just the catastrophizing self, but I think most of us tend to focus on the worst possible outcome. Instead of enjoying the moment, being present, having fun, & enjoying the other person we worry ourselves into a tizzy.

remember this. [via pinterest}

When I was younger, & by younger I mean like 3 years ago, I would often freak myself out & end the relationship prematurely so I was in control of the breaking up. The sad thing is I will never know where those relationships would have gone, what I would have learned, & the possible POSITIVE outcomes I ruined with my own anxiety.

We all have baggage. We've all been beat up, broken up with, & bruised (10 points for the "b" alliteration!). The key is to not self sabotage our relationships.

I've learned from past mistakes to just let things be. Don't try to force a relationship OR end it prematurely due to fear. Stop thinking, start relaxing & enjoying.

Either it'll work out or it won't. Cross that bridge when you get there. Don't run straight to the breakup bridge & through the other person underneath it.

Just let it happen.

xoxo, B.